Sunday, November 22, 2009

[mompowergroup] Digest Number 236

Messages In This Digest (4 Messages)

1a.
Advice From: Deb Gibson
1b.
Re: Advice From: MADRINE SANYU
1c.
Re: Advice From: Lonnie Labriola
1d.
Re: Advice From: Lonnie Labriola

Messages

1a.

Advice

Posted by: "Deb Gibson" dlgibson@alliancecom.net   kagomesdaughter

Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:55 am (PST)



Kim,
I would be glad to talk to you, off list, about what your family is going through. CPS is not the answer, though!
Deb
Ro. 12:19 "Vengeance is mine,
saith the Lord"-- meet "Vengeance"!--
Deb Gibson
1b.

Re: Advice

Posted by: "MADRINE SANYU" trowitluv@yahoo.com   trowitluv

Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:55 am (PST)



I cant agree more with you Jill, there's no way i can put my spouse first before ma kids. Of course they are young and ma spouse is old enough am sorry if am not in line with some other moms here but ma kids first no matter what.

________________________________
From: Jill Militello <jem060504@yahoo.com>
To: mompowergroup@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Fri, November 20, 2009 5:33:31 AM
Subject: Re: [mompowergroup] Re: Advice

 
I am sorry but I have to disagree Children are always first not your spouse.

Jill

--- On Thu, 11/19/09, Vickie Washburn <ickyscuba@yahoo. com> wrote:

I believe your husband is right, he does come first.  My belief is that in each of our lives it should be God our spouse then our children then the rest of the world. If your husband has tried to be a loving father to her and is not abusive then he should come first. If he is abusive that is a whole nother
issue and then I would leave. 

1c.

Re: Advice

Posted by: "Lonnie Labriola" lonnie@backyarddrills.com   lonnie.labriola

Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:57 am (PST)



You said that, "My dad is judgmental."

Can I ask how so? Your thoughts are important.

_____

From: mompowergroup@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:mompowergroup@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf
Of Jody Mort
Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 10:23 PM
To: mompowergroup@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [mompowergroup] Advice

I'm sorry but I put no-one in front of my
children. I always want my children to know that
no matter what I will Always love them & will
never turn my back on them. Its too bad that your
husband is acting childish & setting a poor
example for all of your children. You children
want to be Loved. The problem with most kids &
teens today is they feel that no-one cares. I was
a wild child, I've always known my mom would
always be there. I outgrew it. My mom is still
there. Broken Hearts & feeling like you are not
loved by a parent never really gets repaired. My
dad is judgemental & I will never felt he cares
for me like my mom, actually I know he doesn't.
Your children need you, no matter their age.
You gave birth to her.. She needs You....Give her
the help & Love she needs. If your other 2
children run into trouble when they are older, are
you going to walk away from them? Is your husband
going to turn his back on them too?

Anyway Just my pont of view. I hope you all the
best. Tell her you Love her!

_____

From: Kim <mudduckrecording@yahoo.com>
To: mompowergroup@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tue, November 17, 2009 11:33:02 AM
Subject: [mompowergroup] Advice

Hello my name is Kim and I am a mother of 3
children 2 girls 17 and 11months, and a boy 3. I
need some advice I have been with my husband for
10years 7 married years. my 17 year old daughter
is from a previous marrage. Things between them
started off good but has she became a teenager
just progressively gotten worse. long story short
she snuk out of our house got into his truck and
took his debt card and shopped at walmart,
jackinthebox, and got gas. she was back in the
house when he got up to go to work, I checked the
bank account and found the info confronted her
about it and she admitted it. I called my husband
and told him, I sent her to go live with her
father however she went somewhere else. So then I
had to report her as a runaway. Well my husband
thinks he is suppose to come before my children,
he pressed charges on her for theft, (which will
be a fellony on her record forever) I am not sure
this was the right thing to do and I told him that
but we argue about her all the time. I am not
suppose to talk to her or see her and he said she
is not allowed at our home the other kids will not
see her. I do not think that this is right what
are your thoughts on this. Yes she has been a
definant child getting in trouble at school and
bad grades and lying and etc. She has had CPS
called on him twice (which could have cost him his
career) she did not call and tell anyone to call
but by the things she does and says others have
called including her real father who has not
really been involved. anyone that would talk to me
would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Kim

1d.

Re: Advice

Posted by: "Lonnie Labriola" lonnie@backyarddrills.com   lonnie.labriola

Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:58 am (PST)



Hi Jill

I have had so many heart-wrenching conversations
with women who believed this way.

During and after 20 years or so of siding with
your children instead of working hard to work
together with your spouse to find solutions; after
20 years or so of possibly undermining your
spouse's wishes because you put your opinion of
what you think is best for the children over
theirs; what do you think your household will look
and feel like?

Let me tell you - cold and lonely. Do you not see
the obvious resentment that will develop?

Despite what "The Village" may say, if mom and dad
are not happy together, the kids are not happy.

1. Assuming the standard range of norms, Fathers
are entitled to raise his children as he sees fit.

2. Assuming the standard range of norms, Mothers
are entitled to raise her children as she sees
fit.

So the only way to do this successfully is to love
each other first, then understand that you both
love the children despite what might be different
views on parenting, and then find a way to
compromise on things to find balance that works
for the best for The Family!

It is best for you; it is best for your spouse;
and it is certainly best for the children.

Thanks for allowing me to share my view.

Lonnie

_____

From: mompowergroup@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:mompowergroup@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf
Of Jill Militello
Sent: Thursday, November 19, 2009 7:34 PM
To: mompowergroup@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [mompowergroup] Re: Advice

I am sorry but I have to disagree Children are
always first not your spouse.

Jill

--- On Thu, 11/19/09, Vickie Washburn
<ickyscuba@yahoo. <mailto:ickyscuba%40yahoo.com>
com> wrote:

I believe your husband is right, he does come
first. My belief is that in each of our lives it
should be God our spouse then our children then
the rest of the world. If your husband has tried
to be a loving father to her and is not abusive
then he should come first. If he is abusive that
is a whole nother
issue and then I would leave.

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